Welcome to the “Ask Her Anything” Series at The LightHouse Birth Collective!
(Spoiler Alert: It’s the most fantastic Interview Series you’ll ever read. I’m just telling you now.)
“Ask Her Anything” is the fresh, brutally honest cousin of ‘The Boring Old Interview.” In this unprecedented opportunity, The LightHouse is merging nearly three whole centuries of our Members’ combined birth experience with the chance for prospective clients to be brave and ask the questions that are really on their minds.
One by one, our Midwives, Doulas, and Birth Photographer are answering all kinds of questions that were submitted by our followers – real reader questions that deal with pregnancy, partners, childbirth, and beyond. The questions are intimate, they’re vulnerable, and they’re raw – much like the childbearing year itself – but if you know “birth folks,” you’ll know that they love a good challenge, and our Members didn’t hesitate to tackle even the toughest questions.
Bridget DiLuzio has been a steadfast member of Delaware’s Birth Community for several years, and to be honest, it’s hard to know what the scene would look like without her (and why would we try?). She’s an experienced Doula, a placenta encapsulator, a Sacred Pregnancy, Sacred Postpartum, and Sacred Motherhood educator and facilitator; she’s a Mother Roaster, Belly Binder, and an ordained Minister.
A mother of six, Bridget is fluent in American Sign Language and a wonderfully witchy sort of woman – but I know that y’all didn’t click on this post to hear what I have to say about what it means to bring Bridget on as a part of your Birth Team.
Read on, and she’ll tell you herself.
1. Have you ever had a client who was very devout to a religion that you don’t practice, and was that uncomfortable for you if you were invited to participate in their prayer or other ritual? -HN
Most of my clients have not been of the same religious or spiritual background as myself, but that has never made me feel uncomfortable in any way. I believe that we all have our own truth that we follow and I always respect that. When working with clients, my own personal spiritual and faith beliefs are never a part of that equation. My duty is to my clients and my clients only. If a client chooses to have faith-based music playing, or ask that I pray with them, I will do just that. I have been invited to various religious celebrations in the past and am very grateful that my clients think well-enough of me to request my presence at such a celebration. I do make every effort to attend if I am able.
2. Is it appropriate to call my doula if I feel anxious or scared or just have a silly question, or is that really something I should save for my midwife when I have my appointments? -FR
It is absolutely appropriate to contact me for any silly question, or if feeling scared or anxious. I always tell my clients to reach out to me. It’s important to have that level of trust with the families I’m working with; for them to know that they can be open to ask me anything and for them to know that I will support them regardless. If my client doesn’t feel that she can trust me to help get her out of her head or calm her down, then I’m not doing my job. A mother-to-be shouldn’t feel that her fears, anxieties and silly question” can only be answered during “office hours.”
3. I want to have placenta encapsulated, by my husband is bothered by the idea and won’t even discuss it. What’s your advice on convincing him it is beneficial? -ER
For couples that are considering placenta encapsulation, I offer a sit-down consultation. During that consultation, I discuss the benefits and risks associated with placenta encapsulation and field any and all questions pertaining to that service, as well as, the other placenta services I provide. Because it is such a personal choice, I make it my business to not try to force a choice either way, but, rather, leave the family with information to allow them to make their own informed decision on the matter.
4. I think my mom’s feelings would be hurt if I hired a doula; my husband will be deployed overseas during the birth, so she sees herself as my main support person. How can I hire a doula and explain to my mother that it’s not to replace her? -BA
A doula’s job is never to replace a partner or primary support person, such as the mother of the mother-to-be, but to support the mother AND her support person. I work with all individuals involved (mother and her other support persons) to ensure that the mother-to-be has the support she needs throughout labor and delivery. I would never think to ever tell a mother, as in this case, that she cannot support her daughter during the birthing process and would much rather assist her and show her various ways in which both she and I can work together to support her daughter while she births.
5. Have you ever missed an alarm, or slept through a mother calling you, and missed a birth? What happened? -LP
Thankfully, I have never missed a birth. I always keep my phone on with the volume turned all the way up. I also make sure my clients understand to CALL me, when they are in labor AND when they are ready for my presence during their labor and delivery, as opposed to texting me when they have general questions, etc. I can sleep through a text message, but I can’t sleep through my phone ringing.
6. Ever felt unsafe or felt weird vibes from a client or their partner that make you change your mind about taking care of them? What would you do in that scenario to break a contract with a client? -MN
I have been fortunate enough to never feel unsafe around a client or their partner. With regards to “weird vibes,” I listen to what my gut is telling me from the time I meet a potential client to know if we’re going to be a good match or not. This is also why I like face-to-face initial consultations in a public setting. It allows me to briefly get to know my clients and help me determine if it will be a viable work relationship. In general, I can work with most everyone. That being said, if I don’t feel that I am the doula for them, I will recommend other doulas who may better fit their needs.
Bridget’s Professional Profile, contact information, and links to her site and FB pages can be found here on the LightHouse website. A true Renaissance Woman of Birth Professionals, Bridget’s gentle, maternal, encouraging nature is something that the Delaware Birth Community has valued and benefitted from for several years, and every woman and family that become her clients will quickly come to be nurtured by that same feeling of being in the very best care.
Whether it’s for doula care in any setting, placenta encapsulation services, belly binding, mother roasting, ceremonial services, or just good, old fashioned support throughout your childbearing year, don’t hesitate to reach out to Bridget – you’ll be so glad that you did.